You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
