Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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