loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
