Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize