you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize