you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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