Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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