eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
