oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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