so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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