it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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