she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
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Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
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Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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