you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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