im drinking this country out of the recession.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
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He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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