we're chasing vodka with high fives
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
