there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
