And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
