i was born a porn star she said
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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