Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
