My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
