I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
