Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
