I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
