We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
