I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
that's an acceptable place to lick
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
