yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
