Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
