New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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