I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
