what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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