Little spoons don't ask big questions
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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