You're so nebulous sometimes
Plan B is the new Plan A
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
