strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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