So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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