Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
