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You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
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