i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
