i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
