I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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