Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
