Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.

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  (609): this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef. http://tfl.nu/eg87
  Replies (12) Good night (1175) Bad night (784)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.

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  (520): If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar. http://tfl.nu/t9uo
  Replies (59) Good night (5221) Bad night (812)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.

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  (770): Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces. http://tfl.nu/5t2e
  Replies (11) Good night (3649) Bad night (983)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.

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  (518): I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly. http://tfl.nu/462q
  Replies (88) Good night (4034) Bad night (985)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.

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  (803): so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer. http://tfl.nu/xrhj
  Replies (6) Good night (4051) Bad night (888)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own

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  (519): i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own http://tfl.nu/ot8v
  Replies (27) Good night (8691) Bad night (1197)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.

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  (603): well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access. http://tfl.nu/o23q
  Replies (26) Good night (4019) Bad night (1517)
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  (516): View more from New York

  the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY

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  (516): the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY http://tfl.nu/b20j
  Replies (14) Good night (6888) Bad night (1318)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...

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  (612): Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab... http://tfl.nu/at31
  Replies (14) Good night (1198) Bad night (3254)
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  (716): View more from New York

  my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?

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  (716): my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in? http://tfl.nu/3561
  Replies (18) Good night (6212) Bad night (1443)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?

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  (410): i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka. (443): do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob? http://tfl.nu/qeeu
  Replies (18) Good night (4916) Bad night (1130)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.

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  (615): You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy. http://tfl.nu/cdg1
  Replies (10) Good night (797) Bad night (1530)
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  (310): View more from California

  Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.

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  (310): Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth. http://tfl.nu/zdvm
  Replies (5) Good night (1053) Bad night (563)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.

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  (913): Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me. http://tfl.nu/qrex
  Replies (7) Good night (497) Bad night (1024)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".

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  (859): Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises". http://tfl.nu/cuat
  Replies (11) Good night (404) Bad night (847)

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