I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
your room smells of hookers.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.