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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day

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• (631): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (943): View more from

  You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take

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• (360): View more from Washington

  All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Sorry my hands just texted you

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• (61): View more from Australia

  Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it

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• (818): View more from California

  I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.

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