yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.