Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  We're facebook friends in real life

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  (561): We're facebook friends in real life http://tfl.nu/e7wr
  Replies (2) Good night (868) Bad night (942)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I want your puppy

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I meant pussy

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I would rather you take my puppy

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  (507): I want your puppy (507): I meant pussy (612): I would rather you take my puppy http://tfl.nu/alg5
  Replies (34) Good night (1341) Bad night (5160)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.

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  (203): I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now. http://tfl.nu/m857
  Replies (12) Good night (4484) Bad night (778)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.

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  (508): Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor. (339): No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though. http://tfl.nu/0uyr
  Replies (34) Good night (9725) Bad night (1390)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases

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  (724): Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases http://tfl.nu/ns4i
  Replies (53) Good night (10208) Bad night (873)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom

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  (410): I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom http://tfl.nu/r4rn
  Replies (67) Good night (725) Bad night (6147)
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  (858): View more from California

  There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.

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  (858): There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate. http://tfl.nu/dn5m
  Replies (24) Good night (7525) Bad night (960)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?

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  (203): What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face? http://tfl.nu/dot3
  Replies (57) Good night (4117) Bad night (1660)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  ..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing

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  (709): ..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing http://tfl.nu/8uai
  Replies (6) Good night (2786) Bad night (796)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.

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  (903): So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition. http://tfl.nu/0um3
  Replies (5) Good night (1877) Bad night (535)
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  (949): View more from California

  At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?

  (714): View more from California

  I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.

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  (949): At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup? (714): I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive. http://tfl.nu/dqyc
  Replies (4) Good night (1762) Bad night (513)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.

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  (501): He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit. http://tfl.nu/208i
  Replies (10) Good night (1516) Bad night (1036)
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  (916): View more from California

  I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty

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  (916): I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty http://tfl.nu/gn90
  Replies (11) Good night (362) Bad night (897)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night

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  (586): The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night http://tfl.nu/8plh
  Replies (0) Good night (351) Bad night (207)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  No worries I have vodka. Its always on time

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  (541): No worries I have vodka. Its always on time http://tfl.nu/sdpy
  Replies (0) Good night (499) Bad night (183)

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