Texts From Last Night

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  (315): View more from New York

  my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple

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  (315): my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple http://tfl.nu/6ez5
  Replies (8) Good night (863) Bad night (1789)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself

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  (907): I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself http://tfl.nu/s5eu
  Replies (11) Good night (3075) Bad night (598)
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  (516): View more from New York

  See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil

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  (516): See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil http://tfl.nu/4t0w
  Replies (14) Good night (690) Bad night (4083)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.

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  (910): He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts. http://tfl.nu/0rlv
  Replies (22) Good night (3258) Bad night (1607)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.

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  (407): We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl. http://tfl.nu/kow0
  Replies (20) Good night (973) Bad night (6638)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.

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  (314): The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order. http://tfl.nu/ghcj
  Replies (11) Good night (909) Bad night (3326)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys

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  (703): look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys http://tfl.nu/ae48
  Replies (22) Good night (6786) Bad night (1146)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?

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  (250): Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night? http://tfl.nu/nxqa
  Replies (7) Good night (3481) Bad night (921)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?

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  (646): Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going? http://tfl.nu/kahl
  Replies (12) Good night (2579) Bad night (4524)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth

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  (303): That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth http://tfl.nu/ml2x
  Replies (7) Good night (1111) Bad night (3924)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...

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  (605): Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away... http://tfl.nu/4asr
  Replies (4) Good night (1309) Bad night (1207)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help

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  (780): Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help http://tfl.nu/jtky
  Replies (4) Good night (582) Bad night (1078)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.

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  (512): Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely. http://tfl.nu/gnvv
  Replies (4) Good night (1061) Bad night (511)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.

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  (734): Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator. http://tfl.nu/c745
  Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (404)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?

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  (515): I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king? http://tfl.nu/4eun
  Replies (5) Good night (1311) Bad night (387)

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