Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  "omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"

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  (313): Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!! (1-313): "omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore" http://tfl.nu/6kn3
  Replies (20) Good night (706) Bad night (1458)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll

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  (336): Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll http://tfl.nu/6m63
  Replies (27) Good night (5717) Bad night (1321)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again

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  (650): apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again http://tfl.nu/fi23
  Replies (23) Good night (1375) Bad night (3732)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.

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  (757): I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling. http://tfl.nu/uymu
  Replies (6) Good night (1005) Bad night (2208)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers

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  (912): I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers http://tfl.nu/7qil
  Replies (16) Good night (4640) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns

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  (734): If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns http://tfl.nu/c8s4
  Replies (23) Good night (861) Bad night (3247)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker

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  (925): I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker http://tfl.nu/8x3j
  Replies (24) Good night (6167) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack

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  (631): Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack http://tfl.nu/plmg
  Replies (10) Good night (1070) Bad night (4001)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that

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  (714): You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that http://tfl.nu/q1k2
  Replies (13) Good night (4694) Bad night (1261)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand

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  (772): No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand http://tfl.nu/pktd
  Replies (6) Good night (690) Bad night (2548)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  The ice cream man just told me to use protection.

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  (914): The ice cream man just told me to use protection. http://tfl.nu/w7kz
  Replies (6) Good night (2479) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing

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  (270): So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing http://tfl.nu/i92f
  Replies (5) Good night (1517) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.

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  (720): You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero. http://tfl.nu/rgb3
  Replies (2) Good night (878) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -

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  (973): That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan - http://tfl.nu/yuzz
  Replies (5) Good night (282) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"

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  (813): Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one" http://tfl.nu/9qkk
  Replies (1) Good night (548) Bad night (262)

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