i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.