i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
