spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
