All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
