woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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