but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
