I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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