Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I am naked and annoyed.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
