so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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