I'm drive I can fine osifer
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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