I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
