all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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