So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize