Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
