Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
