hotel room ftw
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
