it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
