honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
How does one acquire holy water?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
