Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Someone signed my nipple.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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