Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
